Though the darker moments in our lives can be extremely scary and painful, they are also filled with opportunities of growth and learning.
It is inevitable that we will all fall upon major challenges in our lives that are somewhat out of our control. However, what is within our control is our commitment to show up to the dark times with an open mindset towards self-compassion, and to make meaning out of our struggles.
I thought I should have healed my pain by now.
I thought if I worked hard enough on myself, and for others, I would eventually be free from the darkness I knew so well.
I thought that my brain and body were letting me down because my emotional pain would appear in new and old ways.
I started to feel ashamed when the pain invited itself back in, because I felt it was evidence for my lack of intelligence, strength and leadership.
I felt ashamed because I wasn’t feeling better despite doing all the “right things”, reading all the “right books”, and stacking up all the “right degrees”.
This scared me. A lot.
As long as I could remember I have been fascinated with people, and what makes us show up to life and perform at our best. I have always been drawn to high performers in all fields from athletics to academics, music to magic, and everything in between.
I wanted to be a high performer. I wanted to show up to life and perform at my best. I wanted to make an impact. I wanted to be a leader. That meant I had to stop listening to, and accepting the common mantra “Positive Vibes Only”.
Our society tends to promote the idea that the antithesis to being an impactful leader is someone in pain, confusion, anger, frustration, and overwhelm. As if to say, that a great leader is one that promotes and lives a “Positive Vibes Only” way of life.
Simply put, not only this is not true, this narrative is hurting us more than it is helping.
As impactful leaders, we need to learn to work with our emotional pain, not eradicate them. We can learn the skills required to allow space for these difficult emotions to transform us and elevate our ability to be impactful leaders. We can become better leaders because of our emotional challenges, and not in spite of them.
I needed to learn to change this narrative within myself.
I needed to accept that my relationship with emotional challenges will be an ongoing one, but it doesn’t have to be a debilitating one.
My ability to be an Impactful Leader grew the more I dedicate time and energy to understanding my emotional pain as a demanding teacher, and not my enemy.
You, too, can see your pain as a demanding teacher, and as such appreciate that it knows better than to just walk away before you have learned what you are meant to learn.
We all can grow our capacity to lead by welcoming “all vibes” within ourselves, each other, our workplaces and our communities.
Impactful Leaders recognize the immense value in leading from the inside out. This type of leadership is much more effective at influencing others. The greatest calling for leaders is to genuinely stay connected to and lead all their vibes, first.
All Vibes Welcome requires us to reevaluate our relationship with emotional challenges. It is asking us to step into the challenge with an emphasis on personal and interpersonal evolution and transformation.
All Vibes Welcomehelps leaders do better, by thinking better.
Watch my TEDx Talk to find out what I think is at the core of “All Vibes Welcome”.
We cannot be lulled into believing that “Positive Vibes Only” is the goal. It in fact can be one of the most dangerous mantras for sustainable health and healing.
It brings me all the vibes to share with you my first time taking the TEDx stage. My hope is that we can all learn to make room for our pain, honour it, and also transform from it.
Let’s honour the dark, so we may revel in our light.
About All Vibes Welcome:
The dark times live within all of us. How do we make room for it, honour it, and also transform from it? In a culture where we chase happiness, and display filtered images of ourselves and our lives, there’s seemingly no room for imperfection and we celebrate ‘positive vibes only’. So where does that leave us? How do we develop the tools necessary to deal with pain, crisis, and confusion? How can we use the dark times to grow, evolve and get better?
All Vibes Welcome teaches us the art and science of emotional transformation. Dr. Yashar Khosroshahi, ND, ACC, draws from both his personal and professional experiences to illustrate how pain can be our greatest teacher and our pathway to new found strength. This talk aims to inspire hope, drive insight, and connect you with the resilience required to transcend hard times. Let’s honour the dark, so we may revel in our light.