It is without doubt that victimhood has traveled with me.

It is without doubt that this has been the feeding ground and the muse of my heart and mind.

What remains in doubt is how I will choose to refrain from this destructive path.

The desire to do so can be swift in its peak of excitement, but lack polish in its sustainability.

The choice to stand within arm’s length of suffering and accept it will never leave is a sobering insight.

You mean to stand with suffering but maintain a semblance of self-control and self-worth is possible, I ask?

To be aware of the suffering, that will ultimately never dissipate, while simultaneously placing great value on the incremental triumphs that also blossom into being, is the answer?

Let the pain of “not yet my son” be balanced by the hope that single word “yet” grants.

Let yourself walk the tightrope of existence. Sacrifice and suffering balance on the same tautly pulled cable as virtue and victory.

There is no victory if there is no suffering. At the same time, why would anyone want to sacrifice if it were not to live more virtuously?

My soul cries out to be graced with a moment of enlightenment. It cries out to sit comfortable within the uncomfortableness that is growth and understanding.

Perhaps, on some level the pain minimizes the wiser the soul becomes.

But, perhaps, we can never misrepresent this minimized sensation with the lack of suffering that exists.

Suffering persists forever. There, I said it!

You can now choose if you would like to be in pain forever.

Choose my dear friend, or the choice will be made unfavourably for you.